Sunday, August 1, 2010

In Memoriam for Adriana

A beautiful, sensitive and very bright friend named Adriana died in Romania a few days ago at the age of 39 rather shockingly after a blood vessel exploded in her brain. I never met her in person, but she had quite an impact on my life in her own way. She sent me a card for Martisor one year and it still is on my bedside table. I always hoped that one day I would be able to accept her invitation to visit her in Romania.

Adriana had a keen spiritual and aesthetic appreciation of life and art. She is sorely missed by many. Like a shooting star, the arc of her life illuminated mine briefly.

Dear Adriana, I hope your spirit is soaring in the heavens now, freed from all the pain, frustration and limitations of this world of ours. May the love and friendship you inspired warm those of us who are left behind.

When I think of Adriana, I think of the Snowdrop, Romanian symbol of Martisor, the festival that celebrates the rebirth and emergence of life in Spring from the frozen grip of Winter. Delicate and exquisite, the Snowdrop is the herald of Spring, often blooming in the snow. Although it dies after a few weeks, its 'death' is an illusion, for the real strength of the plant is underground, where it awaits a new birth in the next Spring. So too is Adriana's death no more than an illusion in a sense, for her soul lives on.

Adriana translated this poem for another, very close friend of hers. I would like to share it as a sort of memorial to her memory.

We Have Time
by Octavian Paler
(Translation by Adriana Papara)

We have time for anything,

To sleep,to run from one place to another,

To regret that we made mistakes, and make others,

To judge others and absolve ourselves.

We have time to read and write,

To correct what we wrote, to regret what we have written,

We have time to make projects and don’t respect them,

We have time to make illusions, to search for them on the ashes later,

We have time for ambitions and diseases,

To blame destiny and the details,

We have time to look at the clouds, at advertising or an accident,

We have time to push away our questions,

To put off the answers,

We have time to break a dream and reinvent it,

We have time to make friends and lose them,

We have time to learn and to forget what we have learned,

We have time to receive gifts and not understand their meaning.


There is no time for a little tenderness,

When we do this, we’ll die.

In this life I have learned something that I have to share with you,

I learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is to be a beloved one,

The rest depends on the others,

I learned that it take years to gain trust,

and only a few seconds are enough to lose it,

I learned that it doesn’t matter WHAT you have in your life,

It matters WHO is in your life,

I learned that you have to part from dear ones with sweet words,

It might be the last time you see them!

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